Today was busy, but really good. This morning saw my girls and I meeting some friends at this Harry Potter: Witchcraft and Wizardry one day special event at the University in the city. There were different stations tied into the Harry Potter series and most of the activities were science based. My girls had a really good time.
At around noon, I left my daughters with my friend K so that I could go to my car and get our lunches so that we could eat before moving on to more activities.
As I was walking back to the building, a woman passed by me on a bicycle. It was probably a weird thing, but I thought “that really looks like A.” And sure enough, as the woman locked up her bike just a little ways ahead and I came nearer, she recognized me and we started to briefly chat.
Now, I haven’t seen or spoken to A really in a couple of years. We didn’t have any sort of big falling out or anything, but our friendship for whatever reason just changed.
Before we went into the building, she pulled me aside and began with something like, “this might be kind of awkward…” and I was thinking, oh great, what did I do or say or what kind of drama have I inadvertently gotten myself into. But what followed was really surprising. Turns out she had read my post More Confusion. And she let me know that if I ever needed anywhere to go, that I could go there, that she understood things were different now, but that if I ever needed some help or a place to go, that I could call on her.
And the thing is. I totally believe her. Because I know that’s exactly the kind of person she is. I’ve realized through this sobriety journey(struggle), that those around you aren’t always who or what you thought. And I just appreciated her offer and support a lot and got all teary eyed because it’s not every day you get an offer like that and you actually believe it.
It’s strange too, reading that post and seeing a date stamp. it’s only the beginning of this year and we’re not quite at the end yet. Sean is doing wonderfully right now and he’s made it past the worst “danger zone” but that doesn’t stop things from being hard when we’re talking about recovery. But at this point, it really does feel like a lifetime ago.
I’ve had some wonderful offers from new friends lately too. Offers of kindness and companionship that I’ve desperately needed and that really remind me of not only the good in this world, but that other people actually care for me and my family and are willing to take that extra step to show us.
I’m in a good place at the moment. We all are in my immediate family. I’m just keeping my fingers crossed that if things get hard for my family again, that these are the friends I can count on because being let down sucks. And I know expectations cause people hurt and ultimately it’s my own fault if I do feel let down. But being logical really doesn’t make it hurt any less in the moment.
A, if you happen to read this. Huge thanks. Your words and kindness touched me and made me quite emotional as I recounted it to Sean this evening.