I’ve been debating if I should post this. If perhaps it is an act of hubris. As soon as I say “I’m so proud of Sean. He’s doing so well.” BAM! Something shitty may happen. I feel like I’m tempting the gods.
But I can’t keep it a secret.
Last time, he lapsed after 70 days. 70 days was a huge accomplishment. And after having to start the count over again because of a minute amount of alcohol, here we are at 90.
Most people relapse between 30-90 days. The fact that last time he simply lapsed (having a total of an ounce or two of alcohol) rather than relapsed (think binge or getting back into old drinking patterns) was pretty huge. The time before, definitely counted as a binge, and therefore I consider it a relapse, even if he didn’t get right back to old drinking patterns.
This lapse, it was a setback, yes. It felt shitty, yes (for all of us). Yet I can’t deny that it was still a step forward.
And as I said, now here we are at 90 days. 3 months. What an accomplishment.
I feel so proud of him. But we’ve been through this good stuff before. And so the other day I brought up that he essentially lives in a bubble right now, with very little chance for a relapse. A dry camp with no free access (to come and go as you please), no license to drive vehicle by the liquor store if an urge strikes, a house that we’ve been keeping most of the alcohol out of.
At the end of the day though, his recovery is his alone, NOT mine. And I need to respect that he is on his own path. I will support him as best I can and as long as we stay within the boundaries I’ve set for my own well being. I will ask him questions that might be hard to explore sometimes because I think people who love each other challenge each other in a good, healthy, respectful way. And I will continue to love him fiercely.
90 days sober. 3 years clean. This man is accomplishing great things and I get to witness them.