These are little snippets from the past week or so, not just today.
I’m so aware in the morning that when I woke up and got on my winter jacket and shoes and grabbed my bag to drive Sean to his drop off point, I didn’t notice the dozen yellow roses that were in a vase on the table that I passed by 3 times. When I got back home I saw them there, wondering how he had been so sneaky. He hadn’t been sneaky at all, I just didn’t notice them in my pre-coffee morning daze. We don’t typically do anything for Valentine’s Day, but it has been awhile since he bought me flowers, so this was nice, and I was genuinely surprised.
Last night, I told R, she needed to go hop into bed, and she started heading down. K burst out, “hey! come over here! I need a hug!” And they hugged each other and wished each other a good night and happy day tomorrow. And I just smiled as I watched them. There are so many instances of pure radiant love between those two.
Today is 26 days since Sean’s last slip. One day and then another and another, and soon we find ourselves at almost a month. Although a source of many ill feelings, we continue on this journey of living with alcoholism and recovery. It’s hard, much of the time. But last weekend we had a beautiful couple of days of connection that was much needed, and I think that connection helps to propel us forward. I love him in all his imperfection.
My daughter R knocked my phone off the table the other day and the front shattered. She felt SO bad, and I knew it immediately. Rather than feel upset, I told her I shouldn’t have left it so close to the edge and that it was bound to happen at some point, so to really not worry about it. A phone is not more important than my daughter’s feelings.
K-Girl and I have a good relationship but she tends to be closer with Sean. I love her to pieces and am so proud of her for so many things, but this past week, I just made the extra effort to offer her extra smiles and hugs and to be interested in the things she wanted to chat wtih me about, leaving my school work for a bit and just focusing on her. She’s such a joyful girl and I could tell she appreciated that I put that effort in.
I love these people and am grateful they are in my life each and every day.